Making me Marvelous!

My mom is going to school to be an Esthetician.

What does this mean to me? Loads and loads of super cheap beauty procedures.

Last night I was her model for the eyelash perm and tint as well as the eyebrow tint. Here is a run down of what happened.

6:20 PM: I arrive at her school and wait for her to come up and get me.

6:23 PM: Mom comes and gets me and I go to the procedure room.

6:24 PM: Another model shows up. He is getting his eyelashes permed and tinted as well. I tell him they will look "pretty". He is not bothered by this as he says: "I am the epitome of pretty boy"

6:26 PM I take a swig of my Dt. Mt. Dew in hopes that it will jump start my gaydar. I just can't figure out which team he bats for and I think he is cute so I am wanting to fix him up with a friend. Girl or boy.

6:27PM: Pretty boy says he wants his brows tinted "black, black"

6:30 PM: Mom starts my eyelash perm.

6:31 PM: I am praying for this to be over.

6:32 PM: Mom really starts it. I was hallucinating before.

6:33 PM: The sticky icky eyelash perm rod goes on. Awkward.

6:45 PM: Mom still trying to get my eyelashes situated as my eyes are watering so bad from being bothered that the sticky part of the perm rod is gone.

6:47 PM: First Solution Starts: Wait 14 minutes. (during this time I think of how the CIA could use this as a torture procedure. And the Geneva Convention would still be valid. As the CIA could call it a "beauty treatment."

7:01PM: Second solution goes on. Wait 14 minutes. (this time I am thinking about how instead of getting tortured right now I could be finding a cure for AIDS or Cancer. Solving the conflict in Iraq. Trying to focus on other things so I do not have a meltdown from having the phobes and ruin my almost over procedure. *trying to be very good model and not complain*

7:20 PM: The nourishing lotion applied. I am now the owner of fabulous curled eyelashes. WHOA. Dramatic. WHOA. Not doing that again. WHOA.. Pretty.. might have to do this again.

7:25PM: Eyebrow tint time. Very painless. Very fast. Very pretty. Will do that again!

7:28 PM: Mom starts to cover my whole body in Vaseline as this protects your skin from the eyelash tint. Okay not my whole body but the majority of my face. I am still working on removing it.

7:38 PM: Mom still covering me with Vaseline.

7:42 PM: Tint finally goes on.

7:52 PM: Oh my goodness. My lashes are marvelous. Tinting is the best thing ever. Very easy. Not painful. Not uncomfortable. I look 37 lbs lighter even. I could keep up with this every six weeks. (not an ounce of tint anywhere on my face. Thanks mom!)

8:oo PM: Still looking at myself in the mirror.

8:12 PM: I am so pretty.

8:15 PM: Time to start the seaweed back treatment. Life is good.

9:47 PM: All done with the back treatment. The last 1 hour and 32 minutes went by so fast and so lovely. I think I snored. I think I drooled. Life is good!

Moral of the story: Mom going to school to be a Esthetician is an AMAZING idea!